A   C o m p r e h e n s i v e   M a n u a l

M

Assume that there is good will on the

other effectively.  Help the sender to

part of those involved;

express her/his feelings, issues, and con 

cerns in the following form, by filling in

M

Never corner the person with whom

the blanks in the manner suggested.

you disagree;

Although it will feel awkward at first, try

to adhere to this model and it will get eas 

M

Always try to improve communica 

ier.

tion;

Step 1

M

The more listening you do, the more

I am noticing that you...

information you will get;

When you did 

When you said 

M

It is important to acknowledge and val 

Observable, objectively stated descrip 

idate everyone's feelings;

tion of behavior are most useful. Watch

out for any hidden judgments!

M

You don't have to catch the ball.  Think

about what is happening instead of just

Step 2

reacting to it;

I feel 

Make a statement about how you feel.

M

Differentiate between needs and solu 

Watch out for  ed  words ( threatened, 

tions.  Most arguments are about solu 

 cheated,   ripped off ) that are hidden

tions.  Find out more about what peo 

judgments!

ple need.  There are usually many

alternative solutions to meet real

Step 3

needs;

Because I believe 

Because I assume 

M

Learn to view conflict as an opportuni 

State your belief or assumption that cre 

ty for deeper understanding, growth,

ates your emotional reaction.

and better solutions; and

Step 4

M

Remember that progress is a spiral

What I want is 

process; it always includes some fail 

Again, observable, objectively stated

ure.

descriptions of behavior are most useful.

This can relate to you or someone else.

Make sure it is doable!

Good Communication is Key to Con 

flict Resolution

Step 5

Because I value 

Even though all conflict is not the result

Make a statement about what you value.

of misunderstanding, good communica 

This is a vision of what you want or care

tion is key to resolving conflicts. In com 

about.  The receiver's job is to engage in

munication there are two roles:  the

active listening, which is a process of

sender and the receiver(s).  The following

feeding back to the other person what you

model for communication is very helpful

have heard. The receiver can also use the

in clarifying the issues and helping dif 

form of the model above.  

ferent people communicate with each

M a n a g i n g   Y o u r   G r o u p

M     6 5