A   C o m p r e h e n s i v e   M a n u a l

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What might have made the meeting go

Taking the time to reflect on the meeting

smoother?

and check in with people after the meet 

ing is an essential part of having success 

M

Who missed the meeting?

ful meetings.  Checking in on tasks,

reaching out to new folks, clearing up

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Are there any outstanding unresolved

unresolved feelings/misunderstandings,

conflicts? feelings? 

and helping people feel valued are neces 

sary to building and maintaining a strong

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Was someone totally quiet during the

group.  One to one discussions after the

whole meeting?

meeting are as important as what happens

during the meeting.

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What did other people feel about the

meeting?

(II) Making Decisions

Making decisions as a group that are

Things to Do:

 fair,   democratic,  and  representative

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Check in with people who were quiet

of the will of the group,  is critical and

or who attended for the first time.  Ask

challenging.  Whenever you have more

them how it was for them, tell them

than one person, you have more than one

you were glad they were there.  Let

opinion!

them know their input is valued;

Most of us have very little experience in

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Check in with people who missed the

making decisions in a group of equals.

meeting.  Let them know what hap 

We're either used to having authorities

pened and let them know that they

make our decisions (our parents, our

were missed.  Tell them about the next

teachers, the IRS, the lawmakers, our

meeting and find out what will enable

bosses, our religious leaders) or we go

them to make the next meeting.  Don't

along with the crowd, or we make deci 

guilt trip them or refuse to let them

sions for others (younger siblings,

know what happened;  

friends).  We get used to either complying

or rebelling when we're in the subordi 

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Check in with people who seem to

nate position or we tell when we assume

have unresolved feelings.  Ask them

the authority.

about how they felt at the meeting.

Sometimes just having someone

No wonder it's often so difficult to make

acknowledge our feelings is all we

decisions as a group!  We need to learn to

need to let them go.  Sometimes you

share power and this involves learning a

will need to support or encourage them

new skill and a new way of thinking.  The

to talk with someone else with whom

following is a review of common deci 

they are feeling tension; and

sion making structures with their pros

and cons.  You may want to use different

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Talk to the next facilitator and give

decision making structures at different

them whatever additional feedback you

times or depending on what kind of deci 

got and also whatever suggestions for

sion you are trying to make.  See Chapter

agenda items, or ways to improve the

1,  Defining Your Group,  for an

meetings that you've thought about.

M a n a g i n g   Y o u r   G r o u p

M     6 1