A   C o m p r e h e n s i v e   M a n u a l

transitions.  When leaders want to (or

"My lover s really  closeted  and I don t

need to become) less active, other people

think she ll like it."

will be more than ready to fill their shoes.

The group will have enough energy to

"The captain of the football team lives

carry out projects, and develop increasing

down the hall from me!"

clout on campus.  And in the process you

will get to know a lot of great people.

"I come from a really conservative, small

town and my roommate s from there."

 I'm Not Really Interested... 

When you first talk to other lgbt people

about your group, you are likely to get

Some ways you can answer it:

lots of negativity:  "Oh, that group is so

First of all empathize and validate the

cliquey!" "I could never be in a group

person s fear.  It is based on some reality.

with so and so."  "I always get over 

People are at different stages in the

involved and I m already spread way too

process of coming out.  Respect these dif 

thin!"  People may be reluctant to get

ferences.

involved for lots of reasons.

M  

Tell the person s/he can be part of

your group or organization without

Your job is to find out those reasons, and

ever having to be visible on campus.

see if you can do anything about them.

There are up front roles and behind

The way to do that is to LISTEN.

the scenes roles.  Does your group

have any policy on keeping names of

Ask questions to understand people bet 

members confidential?  Maybe you

ter.  What s going on inside of them?

should consider this;

What s holding them back?  What s  their

underlying feeling?  Sometimes nothing

M  

Tell them about school policies about

you can say or do will make any differ 

non discrimination/harassment of

ence.  If every time you suggest some 

lgbt people.  Make sure they know

thing they have a "Yes, but....." come 

what resources exist;

back, this may be the case.  Often, how 

ever, people have genuine fears and con 

M  

Explain that many lgbt students feel

cerns which need to be addressed before

safer after they get actively involved

they will give a lgbt organization a try.

because they develop a stronger sup 

Here are some examples of common con 

port system and feel better about

cerns and ways you might try to address

themselves; and 

them.

M  

Tell them about your experiences and

Fear

the experiences of other active lgbt

"If I do anything it will somehow get

students.  Do any of these experi 

back to my parents that I m gay and

ences help to reassure any of their

they ll kill me."

fears?

"I want to go to law school someday; I

Hopelessness

can t get involved because it may ruin my

career."

"Nothing will ever change on this cam 

pus; it s a waste of time to try!"

B u i l d i n g   Y o u r   G r o u p

M     3 1